It occurred to me today that the stigma that surrounds mental health and the concept of getting help from a coach, counsellor or therapist is a liability to ourselves and society, every bit as dangerous as ignoring a disease of the physical body by imagining that it was a stigma to visit a doctor.  If we had a broken leg we would go to a hospital to have it set and mended by an expert.  If we had an infectious disease we would be put into an isolation ward and await expert care.  Problems of a mental and emotional kind can influence and impact those around us and yet people often consider it a weakness to admit to mental stress or to seek help for such things. Surely we all have a responsibility to seek expert help in situations of mental or emotional stress (which are often a natural part of human life) in order to understand and identify alternative ways of managing ourselves, others and the situations in which we find ourselves. 

 Why should any of us see mental or emotional problems as a weakness?  Is getting a broken leg mended a weakness?  Is going into isolation for a communicable disease a weakness?  Surely not.  And yet the mental and emotional problems of one person can  impact others in just as serious and damaging a way.  Self-knowledge, therefore, is something each one of us has a responsibility to seek - both for our own benefit and for the benefit of those around us, whether loved ones, friends, colleagues, direct reports, or clients.  Without self-knowledge we cannot know how others perceive us or know the impact our behaviour may have on others - for better or for worse.  It is a lifetime’s journey. Psychometric profiling such as the Herrmann HBDI Thinking Preference Profile, the DiSC Personality at Work and the Myers Briggs MBTI Personality Profile can provide huge insights into oneself and how one interacts with the world.  http://www.positiveworks.com/products/profiling.htm.   Coaching sessions provide a process of self-reflection to build strategies for change. 

Philosophers through the centuries have advised us to ‘Know Thyself’ and however difficult it is in today’s world to take time out to consider who we are and how we influence others surely it is an essential part of being an aware and conscious human being to do so, for the sake of ourselves and those with whom we come into contact both at home and at work.

I went to the National Gallery today.  Wandered around the Italian, Dutch and English paintings.  A feast for the eyes and much to consider with regard to the influences of the times.  Wonderful depictions of faces, hands, eyes, emotions, relationships, government, power.  Scenes of love, adoration, war, violence through the ages; somehow putting into context the experiences of today.  An exhibition on Work, Rest and Play which certainly puts into perspective today’s experiences of stress at work, realizing how harsh the conditions were for previous generations where there was no help for those in need, no social services, no dole, only starvation.  The pressures have changed and become more psychological than physical but the human condition is and has always been one of challenge and occasional joy. 

Thinking how important it is for today’s children and young people to have the opportunity to visit our art galleries and spend a moment of quiet time (as galleries are always quiet places) in the midst of the noise that is the 21st century (ipods, hi fi, television, Sony game stations etc) visiting the experiences of previous eras and also experiencing that quiet reflection of times gone by, of how artists perceived the human experience of life through the ages, and of the opportunity to put into perspective the experience of today.  May teachers and parents take these moments and share them - the marvellous collections of our art galleries and museums are free of charge for young and old: what an incredible gift to share, and one that can shape our view of life and humanity for a lifetime.

Happiness training for all school pupils?  I think it is a great idea, provided it is based on positive and constructive models of thinking.  Most of our coaching clients ask us “why weren’t we taught these skills earlier in life - we should have had them when we were at school”.  I quite agree.  I was a real late-starter - only learning about thinking strategies and stress management techniques when I was 42.  The majority of our clients are also about this age and immediately say that they are going to share the methods with their children.

It was for this reason that my colleague Diane Carrington and I wrote our book FUTURE DIRECTIONS, Practical Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence and Confidence in Young People - see http://www.positiveworks.com/education/futuredirections.htm.  Whether you are a teacher, social worker or parent this book is full of practical advice, tips and exercises to help develop self-respect and positive thinking in young people.

Looking at the problems we have in our society today with young people I feel certain that if we could help young people feel confident then they would realize that they have other options in how they behave.  They don’t have to respond to challenging situations in a knee-jerk way but can stop and think about the consequences of their actions.  They can check themselves and question whether their anger could be eased by counting or walking away, whether their expectations of how others should behave towards them are rational and helpful.  Simple techniques can be provided to physically relax and identify behaviours and actions that will benefit them and others.   They don’t have to think about negative emotions other than to realize that they have a choice as to whether they transform those negative emotions to positive ones.

We have trialled the exercises with young people in a variety of schools, some of whom had major problems such as pending exclusion and self-harming, and we have seen a measured improvement in emotional intelligence in all those who have used our ideas and exercises.  Go to our tips pages for a few ideas - and support Ed Balls in his project to introduce Happiness training in schools! http://www.positiveworks.com/newsoffers/confidencetips.htm