“Disgraced” Aitken to head prison reform research run the headlines in the media and surely in this one sentence is precisely the reason why prisoners or those who commit misdemeanours find it so difficult to be rebilitated successfully into our society.  For Profumo it took a lifetime; forever “disgraced” and unforgiven however many good works are carried out after the event.

If we continue to judge and label people for the crime or weakness they committed many years earlier, for which they have paid their rightful penance, what hope is there for them to move on and reinvent themselves as someone who can behave well and be a useful part of society?  This is precisely the prejudice prisoners face and the reason why prison is so seldom a successful means of rehabilitation.  Prejudice drives society’s perceptions of offenders and this in turn drives their own perceptions of themselves resulting in insufficient confidence or esteem to hack it in the world outside prison.  I hold no torch for Aitken but certainly believe that he should be judged for who he is today, not who he was 8 or more years ago, and for prison reform is it not better to seek the opinion of someone who has ‘inside’ knowledge?

The problem of other people’s stuck perceptions is just as relevant to anyone going through personal change.  Colleagues, family and friends frequently wish to label you and see you as who you were rather than who you are today, let alone who you are seeking to become in future.  This is why so many change programmes fail: habitual perceptions, habitual behaviours, however constructive or unconstructive, are what others have become used to and so it is often easier to hold a person into old patterns and block their progress rather than face the discomfort of change.  Very often it is those nearest and dearest to you who hold you back as they are threatened by what you might become and how it will affect them personally.  But equally it can be people who have never met you or know of you rather than know you who refuse to open their eyes to the fact that people can and do learn and change as they go through life. 

How difficult it seems to be for humans to truly and wholeheartedly support another person’s transformation.  Yet it is often when people make mistakes that they learn their hardest but most useful lessons in life and often experience a kind of epiphany.  We only need to look at the lives of saints and great people to see that frequently the early part of their story was a difficult one.  Look back at your own life and consider whether you have not learnt some wisdom over the last ten years?  Would you wish to be labelled for some misdemeanour you committed years ago?

Whether a prisoner or not people need the support of others in order to successfully change behaviour.  They also need to learn skills both cognitive and behavioural in order to become the person they want to be: it is unlikely to happen without.    Why don’t we open up our eyes to see the potential of what someone could become rather than seeing them as some kind of outdated and faded image of a person they once were?  Until we do this we shall continue to have the problems we have in our society with both juveniles and adults reoffending because people respond to how we treat them.  There is plenty of research to demonstrate that when someone is treated as successful they become successful.  It is for this reason that a coach can support individual and organisational change through constant reinforcement of the new and constructive behaviours that lead to future success.  See www.http://www.positiveworks.com/coaching/executive.htm

I wonder where you are when you are reading this: in town or in country, in noise or in silence.  As we turn the page from 2007 to 2008 it is increasingly difficult to find silence in the environment in which we live.  Trains, planes, cars, motor bikes, tannoy announcements, ipods, mobile phones are a continuous assault on our ear drums.  In other parts of the world there may be the noise of gunfire or tanks. 

So finding peace can be tricky but where we choose to be can help us touch that inner silence that is available to all of us if we take the time to listen for it.  I have been lucky enough to spend the weekend down in Nice.  One thing I have been reminded of is how wonderful it is to be in a place where the shops close on Sunday!  This large city takes on a completely different energy and sound level as people are forced to find alternative things to do with their time other than shop and spend money.

The whole city transforms itself from a hub of designer consumerism to a place where people promenade, just sit and look at the sea and the horizon, sit with their families in cafes and talk – in fact have to find other ways of entertaining themselves and, in that, come back in to themselves.   On a day when there is less activity on the outside we have to remind ourselves who we are and what we enjoy doing – are we someone who likes to read, to walk, to dance, to make furniture, to paint a picture, or just to sit and do nothing.

In that space boredom can arise and it is boredom that often stimulates creativity.  If our mind is always busy in external thought and action we can forget how to come back in to ourselves and be peaceful with doing nothing.  Boredom – or just doing nothing, however you want to think about it - can help us to remember how to stop and to notice the birds’ song, or hear the wind in the trees.   Boredom and stillness can remind us how to have the inner time and attention to listen to the voices of our children or loved ones instead of being in a hurry to answer the next email or attend the next meeting.

Sundays in London used to be like this but we have now become enmeshed in constant busy activity.  So why not take this ‘inner’ time out next Sunday – tune out of the external ever-humming world and reach that inner silence. Have a whole day where you don’t go near a shop but find other, slower, things to do.  You may remind yourself of that quiet state of mind where you feel more at one with the world and those you love.  You may find that your mind, at rest, suddenly becomes more creative than it has ever been before…  You can get more tips on how to do this from my CDs Help yourself to a Better Life and How to Survive Life Positively – take a look at http://www.positiveworks.com/products/development.htm