The news is pretty gloomy isn’t it – and our future, as always, uncertain.  If you read the newspapers you would imagine that we live in a world where there is only violence and a ‘broken society’.  And yet I would argue that our experience of life depends on the focus of attention we give to one aspect of life or another.  Of course there are difficult situations and challenges that we all face but if we only notice the negative messages and newspaper reports it would be easy to become pessimistic and depressed.  That doesn’t help as we can’t create a more cooperative world in 2012 unless we recognise that there is another perspective and that every day there are events that demonstrate the altruism, cooperation and compassion that still exist within our communities.  This is what we can all build upon.

There is a project under way at the moment to capture and record acts of kindness on the London tube.   I thought this was a great idea and was immediately able to add a few stories of my own which I shall share with you in the hope of warming your hearts somewhat in the midst of some chilly and wintry weather here in the UK.

Recently I was running a day workshop in the City.  I had to take some handouts and materials and so my briefcase was loaded with laptop, stress balls, hi fi and speakers for the sound system.  By the time I was on my way home I was tired and had needed to stand all the way back on the District Line so by the time I got to Gloucester Road the steps up to the exit looked like hard work.  As if sensing my fatigue a young man immediately approached me and asked if he could carry my case for me: I accepted with gratitude.

Sharing my stories and the London Underground project, two of my colleagues were prompted to recall some similar memories of their
own.  One had been on a train one night when a young girl had difficulty in getting her credit card accepted by the ticket collector’s machine.  She asked to use another card or for him to try again but he was unyielding and warned her that she would face a fine.  The young girl was upset and my colleague offered to loan her the fare of £9.50 and gave the girl her home address, not really expecting to hear from her again.  Four days later a large bunch of flowers was delivered to her door with a thankful note from the girl’s mother.  In the same mail a cheque arrived from the girl refunding the sum.  The random act of kindness had been valued and appreciated, even though my colleague had no
expectation that it would be.

My other colleague, Rob,  was sitting next to an old man, somewhat of a tramp, who was drinking quantities of beer from a large backpack.  Most of the other travellers avoided his glance but Rob noticed that the old man was having difficulty opening one of his cans of beer (this was before Boris Johnson banned alcohol on the tube) and offered his handy Swiss penknife with which to help the man open the can.  The old man was delighted and relished his drink.  As he left the train he delved into his copious bag and lifted out a large block of chocolate and gave it to Rob in thanks.

One of the smaller companies I work with has the use of a board room of a larger company which they use for meetings from time to
time.  When they asked whether they should pay for this benefit the company said ‘No, just be sure that when your own company is large and profitable you do the same kind of thing for some other small business start-up.’  I thought this was brilliant and can inspire us all to think of how we might be able to help someone who is starting up a business.  Certainly I experienced great kindness and encouragement from several people when I founded Positiveworks in 1993.

On a train to Bath a few years ago a young man sat opposite me.  He was a ‘hoodie’ and had a slightly threatening energy.   I spent the first part of the journey feeling a little nervous.  However, first impressions can certainly be wrong because when I spilt my coffee a little later he was the passenger who immediately sprang up and offered to help me clear it up, running to the loo to get some paper and help me with the mopping up.  There was no need for him to have done so: it was a random act of kindness.

These small acts are what makes life worthwhile and keeps a society functioning with a spirit of community and cooperation.  Such acts are occurring in thousands of different places all over the world as I write so let’s remember this as we go into the New Year.

I am sure you can add many stories yourself of random acts of kindness that either you have done for others or others have done for you.  Don’t ignore them, notice and give them your energy and attention because this is what makes all our lives easier and more enjoyable.   It comes from the heart but starts with the focus of the mind…

Wishing you all well and a very happy 2012.

Helen and all at Positiveworks

some more nice stories and comments have come in since I posted this:

“My story is that I often travel to London and get a travel card which I then don’t need to continue my train journey home to Hampshire.  I decided to give it away to someone in the queue at the ticket machine.   The first Mother and daughter were suspicious and didn’t take it, so I offered it to the next lady who was very grateful.   These positive energies go around and spread out in this way – just like when someone lets you inot the traffic queue  – you will probably then let someone else in  etc.”

“very uplifting after all the horrors on the news!”

“This has cheered me up after a dreadful meeting with one of our exec who is really negative!”

“How very uplifting and  inspiring!   One should indeed focus much more on the better side of human nature and remembering small random acts of kindness are a very good way of being reminded of this.”

“Just wanted to say that I thought your message was brilliant.  My husband  works  as a British Transport Police constable and he has many, many tales of true kindness and even bravery from random members of the  public.  You are right, it is too easy to focus on the negative and sad things in this world, I remember years ago my RE teacher telling me that the sun is shining every day, it is just that sometimes the clouds get in the way, so we can’t always see it.”